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David Kaluza of Metal Temple (Holiday Special)

Interview with David Kaluza of Metal Temple from Holiday Special
by Thodoris Pantazopoulos at 22 December 2005, 5:41 PM

He enjoys playing Gameboy, he likes big boobs (who doesn't?), he hates Belgian cucumbers (you know, the tiny ones), he's anti-social (we never get to hear his voice ' he sends in these really creepy lookin' snail mails etc…) and he's got an opinion about everything (hah, that came out sounding bad, didn't it?). Meet (the Flintstones) Metal Temple magazine's… David!<br><br>\[Interviewed By Thodoris Miniatis, mighty editor of fellow Rock/Metal webzine]

If you were a Metal apostle, how would you spread the meaning of Heavy Metal music?

The good old fashioned way. By traveling from town to town with my fellow apostles, stopping at every town square, and vocally convincing the peasants and by-standers about the meaning of Heavy Metal. And of course kill the non-believers, rape their wives and burn their homes to the ground afterwards. And maybe put their heads on a stake or something equally cheerful for the hell of it. The past has proven that this is a very effective and popular way of getting the message across.

Since when have you been listening to Heavy Metal music?

Since when I was about ten or eleven years old (I am 26 at the moment). My first album actually was a Metallica one - although I'm not entirely sure if that was the black album or the …And Justice For All one. After that I ended up digging through my father's record collection and coming up with such timeless classics as AC/DC's Highway To Hell, Deep Purple's In Rock and (especially) Made In Japan and Black Sabbath.

I am a big fan of Mausoleum Records that happens to come from your country. What is your opinion about this record company?

Well…the first thing that springs to mind is that I should hang my head low in shame because I have somehow never really been too much of a fan of the bands on that label - not to mention that I actually more or less lost track of who is on it and what is being released. The last release that I actually remember is the Stormhammer Lord Of Darkness CD - which I thought was okay but nothing really special. I haven't even listened to the latest Killer album, and that WAS a band that I did like while growing up, thanks to some vinyl releases (badly worn though) that I got from another family member), Shockwaves was my favorite one. There's no denying the importance of the record label for Belgian Heavy Metal though - we have far too few bands but it seems that in its high-day Mausoleum actually got hold of the better ones like Ostrogoth, Killer and Witchfynde. But since I was only a few years old at that time and did not actively witness that period, I must say that I have little to no emotional attachment to the label or its releases. All in all I think that Mausoleum is something of a missed opportunity - for some reason the bands on it or the label itself never managed to profile themselves as well as they could have - sure, it's something of a cult thing and it has its fans but I really think that more could have been done with the label and the bands on it. Then again, they probably are satisfied with staying underground anyway.

Have you ever been to a concert of that record company?

So far really only to one band - Double Diamond, I saw them twice while they were opening up for other bands. I must admit that I am sort of anti-social myself and don't go to a lot of concerts at all. The arrival of DVD and Dolby surround is a blessing to all of those that detest standing in huge, sweaty and mainly manly crowds who seem to either dance on your toes all night long or wave their last few strains of hair surrounding their bald spot in your face repeatedly (that last thing is especially the case for Motorhead fans! Great band! Lemmy is God ! But please - anyone over 50 reading this who qualifies for the above description - get a fucking haircut ! Rob Halford is bald and it didn't make him look any worse! Don't hold on to what you don't have !).

If Heavy Metal music was a crime, would you die for it?

Depends on the way the death sentence would be carried out. If it means being screwed to death by a horde of wild, Amazonian women - sign me up! If it is one of those less pleasant things like the electric chair, lethal injection or something as crude (but funny!) as a stake through my ass - probably not. Sorry!

Name some album covers that are suitable for politicians.

I'm sure that if I tried, I could come up with some very entertaining and gory cover artworks from various grindcore or Death Metal bands. Severe Torture's Misanthropic Carnage springs to mind instantly.

You realize that your favorite band/artist is/are gay(s) or bisexual(s). Which is the first thought to come to mind?

Wow…seems my favorite band blows after all.

What is your opinion for the fact that nowadays Heavy Metal music has so many different kinds?

It's a GOOD thing, despite what some people might actually say in the media. Stagnation means death. Music needs new blood and new influences to stay alive. That does include the Heavy Metal scene. I have no problem with something like Nu Metal or whatever is hip at current or any of the various subgenres. I used to when I was fifteen years old and my favorite band was Manowar (which still is by the way) - but I like to think that I wizened up over the years. There is no reason why you can't like for example both Death Metal and AOR. Or Nu Metal and True Metal. Anyone proclaiming differently obviously completely misses what Heavy Metal is really all about. It never was about nicely walking the line and recording the 57582nd true Metal record with double bass-drums and eunuch vocals - it means trying to be different, rising above the grey majority of faceless sheep and making a statement. And that can be done by any kind of band - Black Metal, True Metal, Nu Metal or whatever the way people like to classify band X or Z. Variety is good. Progression is good. New influences are good. And that does not mean that you should throw away all classic bands or dismiss any other band not playing in your favorite genre. There is something worthwhile to find in any of the various subgenres out there. So…I can only be positive about the amount of different kinds of Metal.

Do you think that Heavy Metal music has become a commercial product nowadays?

It always was a commercial product. Any band proclaiming differently is selling a lot of bullshit and trying to look cool for not being able to sell enough albums or playing their instruments the correct way. You do not record an album just for yourself (okay…so maybe if you are Yngwie Malmsteen you do…) - you record it in the hope of one day being able to make a living as a musician or to try and express yourself creatively while hoping that anyone actually listens to it. And that means being commercially successful. In my opinion, it is no different now than it was in the 80's or 70's. They were signing and marketing shitty NWOBHM bands as much as they are doing with Nu Metal or whatever these days. So personally I don't feel it is more of a commercial product than it ever used to be. There still are bands out there that do it with their heart and soul and there will always be bands that are in it just for the money.

Suppose you are about to die in a death chair. What would your dying song be?

Obviously something very long hehehe, maybe Manowar's Achilles, Agony and Ecstasy. But seriously - the song(s) which I would like to hear in my moment of death are Savatage's Believe, Manowar's Heart Of Steel, Queensryche's Promised Land, Judas Priest's Sinner or W.A.S.P.'s The Idol. All those songs mean an awful lot to me and all would be suitable for my final moment(s).

How would the ideal woman be for you? In Metal and outside Metal…

Taller than me, huge boobs, long black hair and able to wrestle me to the ground for some heavy duty S&M. No, seriously, I have no ideal apart from that fact that she should be fun to hang around with, slightly more intelligent than the average television bimbo and have something to say. No sheep please. In Metal or out of Metal. Tall or short, fat or … well, I don't like skinny - but apart from skinny anything applies. So, that doesn't mean that any tall, big boobed, black-haired wrestling girls can't contact me for a date!

Would you like all football teams to have Metal logos on their shirts?

Being a huge football fan, I would love to see all teams worldwide being hung, drawn and quartered. Yes. I really care that much. Alternatively they should try to change the rules a bit and include sudden deaths, obstacles and the use of heavy duty weaponry - in which case, yes, I would like all football teams to have Metal logos on their shirts.

What would the best punishment be for all the Metal accusers?

As you might have noticed, I'm a huge fan of staking people - so put to the stake would be my preferred punishment. If not gassed, quartered, beheaded, drowned or really anything suitably pleasant will do.

Name the first 5 words that comes in mind when listening to Heavy Metal?

Uh…dunno really. I can tell you what the first five words springing to mind when listening to Running Wild anno 2005, which are: WHAT THE FUCK WENT WRONG?!!.

How much does Heavy Metal music affect your everyday way of life?

Well…I guess a lot. Not in how I look, because I think it is bullshit to try and live up to a certain image like leather clothes and long hair (which does NOT mean that I don't think that some people really do look good that way) but more in the way that I live my life. I try to be as sincere, honest, helpful and friendly as possible and to make as little concessions to anyone or anything as needed. I try to do it my way and that is something that I got out of listening to Metal ever since I was a kid. Of course I fail 99% of the time but that's another thing altogether, hehe…

What is your favorite style in/of Metal?

Shoot me but no matter how much I laugh at True Metal and Power Metal I still have a soft spot in my heart for it. You can always wake me up for a portion of good old Grave Digger, Manowar or Running Wild (well…Running Wild before 2000something that is…). But really - It is very hard for me to say such a thing because I tend to enjoy a lot of different styles.

Supposing you have a son at the age of 10 and he tells you that Heavy Metal sucks!!! What will your reaction be??

Shoot him and make another one. Plenty more where he came from after all and the act of making one isn't all that bad in itself either. Seriously though - he should be allowed to say such a thing because let's face it - rebelling against your parents and their taste is something that a lot of kids, if not all kids, go through at one point or another and is quite possibly also very healthy. I'd try to raise him as open-minded as possible though - so he shouldn't come up with a dumb phrase like that in the first place.

Do you believe that Heavy Metal fans are more cultured than others?

Some of them are. Others are about as cultural and civilized as the average monkey or even less. You really can't put a tag on the average Heavy Metal fan because there really is no such thing. But yes - a lot of the people I personally know tend to listen to loud music come across as being intelligent, civilized human beings with a wide cultural knowledge.


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