Assaulter - Crushed By Raging Mosh

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Well that was disappointing. Normally, yes, I would be wrong to simply assert the conclusion in the very first conclusion, but this is not the way I do things, and I really don’t want to be here any longer than I have to. So let’s jump right into the meat of the generic slurry that is ASSAULTER ASAP, so we can dry ourselves off with a towel and move on with that well-known feeling of emptiness and loathsomeness we all probably have. I assume all of this, of course.

The riffing is more one dimensional than the mathematical concept can even possibly allow, the lead work is a bowel movement of sprayed, liquid shit that has all the skill required to make a ham sandwich and still fuck it up somehow (Really? You got whole wheat? Who the hell likes whole wheat?). And the perfect little topping to this shit sundae is a vocalist who has absolutely no clue what the hell is going on. He’s so terrible, yes, that there several times where his vocal work itself is clipping into incoherency. The best way to describe it is to imagine a two-year old child throwing a very passionate tantrum, complete with ear-splittingly bad shrieking and shouting. Set that to a drum and guitar riff. You have made ASSAULTER.

It’s generic, bland, and not even very good at that. You can be as unoriginal as reality can dictate, as long as you get the concept right and do it well. They got the genre basically correct, but problems arise when they are forgetting you need to be good at it, too.