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Barbarian Swords – Totemic Anal Turbofucker

Barbarian Swords
Totemic Anal Turbofucker
by "Der Bärtige Mann" Gareth Beams at 16 November 2019, 11:44 PM

They are BARBARIAN SWORDS and this is "Totemic Anal Turbofucker". The band themselves have described it as a putrid and abhorrent new album. We can expect zero fucks given, they have never given a single one. Let’s see what they have given

Be The War” starts with a chaotic mix up. The drums are belted to keep up with the String Instrumentalists. The song does slow down just after the minute mark, but it soon picks up pace once more. Vocals are more of a growl than clean-cut, which is expecte4d, but you can barely work out what is being said. If you just want to concentrate on the musical melody, then switch off from the vocals and hear some technical and brutal jamming from the band.

Jesus the Pederast” sounds like some old school Thrash kicking off with a mix of hardcore thrown in for good measure. Once more vocals are not easy to understand but the beat is fast enough for you not to give a shit. There is some technical riffs in this also, just showing off what potential they have. As it’s only a short song, the song doesn’t have any twists and turns, but if you want to thrash along to something, this will work.

Cerebros Destruidos” is another fast paced, Thrash out. It has a great beat and a few cleaner melodies work for the song to kick into gear. Who knows what the words that are coming out of Von Päx’s mouth are, but the song is decent enough for instrumentalists to take control and take it home. To say it’s a cover song, they work it well in their own styles, but you can tell with how its different to the rest of the album, is that it is a cover song. They did the original a decent amount of respect

Totemic Anal Turbofucker” has a sample start that doesn’t need to be explained. The beat from the off is good, it picks up the pace well throughout the band, vocals, well I think you’ve got the idea by now. The melody does work really well, it expands on the song allowing it to add depth and takes the album out in style. The song is a bit different in that it has the most time spent on instruments than vocals, which is a good stance to take in songs through any album, this trick should have been performed earlier in the album for me. Though if you’re listening to this album, you will be a fan of Thrash in one subgenre or another

The album feels like a speed trip. You can barely hold on to concentrate on the music before its whizzed passed to the end of the song. If you like bands with the pace of NAPALM DEATH then this album could be for you. If you like bands where you can hear the lyrics, this is not for you. You can fully appreciate the brilliance from the instrumentalists throughout the album. The band know how to create a sound which has some uniqueness, but I think the vocal styles need mixing up a bit

Songwriting: 6
Musicianship: 6
Memorability: 6
Production: 6

3 Star Rating

1. Dios Te Salve (Intro)
2. How to Destroy Christianism
3. Fleshy Battering Ram
4. Be the War
5. Jesus the Pederast
6. Pig Crap Shitty Christ
7. Cerebros Destruidos (Eskorbuto Cover)
8. Totemic Anal Turbofucker
Von Päx – Lead Vocals
Steamroller – Guitars
Panzer – Bass
Voice of Noise – Guitars
Joe Beltza – Drums
Record Label: Third-I-Rex


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Edited 27 March 2023

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