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Eugenic Death - Crimes Against Humanity

Eugenic Death
Crimes Against Humanity
by Eric "Carnegie" Hall at 29 October 2012, 8:33 PM

You know, sometimes I wonder how many Heavy Metal bands would need to re-think their nom de guerreif the word ‘Death’ was somehow banished to the island of banished words island and herpes by the International Arbitrary Word Banishment Society of America. But, EUGENIC DEATH is lucky, because no such board exists.

On the flip side of that, I can still openly deride their use of such an old standby in the world of Heavy Metal band naming. Honestly, just tack on the word ‘Death’ to any negative sounding word and you’ve got yourself a grade-A metal band name. It seems that “Crimes Against Humanity”is their first full-length outing, and it definitely has that virginal funk of not knowing where the right spots are or what moves to make so we will all cum like howler monkies. Nope, most likely you’ll need to slip into the bathroom and finish off with the likes of MORBID ANGEL or DEATH or something.

Well, the drums sound about as full and strong as an over-enthused retard banging on a couple upside-down tubberware containers. And the vocals seem to be vocalized by someone doing a hilarious Hulk Hogan impersonation. Having said that, the guitar work has some surprisingly satisfying pieces to it, like finding several high-priced chocolates in the gold wrappers amongst an otherwise ordinary loaf of wheat bread. Be on the lookout for a very well-done instrumental later on in the albums run time. It was good enough for me to warrant a second, third, and fourth listen-through.  It was definitely the highlight of the entire work, by which I mean the only highlight – like when the dentist drilling a massive hole in your teeth slips her tits out.

But, in all fairness, I really feel like I’m at a loss here. I want to like this album, I really really really do. Yet it feels like some crucial, abstract element is missing. Most of the songs are simple derivative muck we (I) have heard before. It feels wrong to mark this album so highly, because it seems like I am saying, “Here, do something that already exists, and I’ll give your whole band a nice solid wank”. And I don’t want that message to get across.

So for their next work, I recommend EUGENIC DEATH really push themselves to create something really awesomely, uniquely awesome. Has anyone ever thought about combining Thrash Metal with smooth jazz and avant-garde ambient Stoner Funk? Of course not, that would be terrible. Try something else besides that.

3 Star Rating

1. Crimes Against Humanity
2. Indictive Deity
3. Medication Time
4. The Devil Waits
5. Plagued By Ignorance
6. Epitaph
7. The Practice
Jonathan McCanless– Guitar
Keith Davis– Vocals
Shane Lucas– Bass
Ian Pasquini- Drums
Record Label: Heaven And Hell Records


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