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Nanowar of Steel - Stairway to Valhalla Award winner

Nanowar of Steel
Stairway to Valhalla
by Craig Rider at 05 December 2018, 6:24 AM

Metal maniacs, rejoice! I am proud (I think) to present to you: NANOWAR OF STEEL; signed via Audioglobe Records, hailing from Italian grounds - performing Heavy/Power Metal/Hard Rock, on their 4th album entitled: “Stairway To Valhalla” (released November 9th, 2018).

Since formation in 2003; the band in question have four albums in their discography so far, I am introduced to their 4th album: “Stairway To Valhalla”. 18 tracks ranging at around 59:44; NANOWAR OF STEEL arrange an intricately designed formula of Heavy/Power Metal/Hard Rock developments. Ah… NANOWAR; the band who creatively take the piss out of the mighty MANOWAR & RHAPSODY (OF FIRE) (as if the name was not a dead giveaway), and the band’s cult following of fans for sport - my dear manager: Lior Steinmetal knows I am a hardcore fan of the aforementioned, and I bet he could not resist on giving me this promo for a laugh. None the less, I have enjoyed this one strangely enough! As well as their brilliantly funny cover of METALLICA’s “Master Of Puppets” re-entitled: “Masters Of Pizza”; I can safely say that this review will be interestingly entertaining indeed.

Stairway To Valhalla” begins with the operatic; introductory track: “Declination” conveying a comedic battle hymn, amalgamated with a hardened riff of steel. Good start, right? Yes. Advancing onward to “Barbie, MILF Princess Of The Twilight” (featuring Power Metal guest vocalist Fabio Lione (RHAPSODY OF FIRE and ANGRA) to name a couple); I can’t help but smile with hilarity, as this plagiarizes the sub-genre he helped pioneer in in an utmost insensitive fashion; engaged on a full self-parody that is nailed with stunning prominence. The instrumentation is incredibly tight, and the musicianship is surprisingly solid. Demonstrating diligently concrete grit; boisterous bouncy crunchiness in which contrasts with consistently fast and heavily meticulous rhythms - ramified with progressively unique singing technicalities. Consisting of Mohammed Abdul (Valeria Storch) on guitars/vocals; the front man delivers complex dexterity, converged with high-pitched harmonic pipes of profusely robust skill – as well as blisteringly thunderous melodies that manifest with persistent proficiency.

The Call Of Cthulhu” blends amplified adrenaline; catchy craftsmanship and energetically fluid flamboyancy in which distributes a grandiose granduer of dynamically diverse orchestrations, and an aesthetic of infectious lyricism at the end with the likes of:  “la, la, la, la, la, la, la, laaa” …great, drunken party music so far. 2nd vocalist: Potowotominimrak (Carlo A. Fiaschi) attributes versatile variety, vehemently utilizing upbeat singing with synthetic seamlessness in the sonic “Heavy Metal Kibbles” (pronounced as “meow-tal) – executing elegant components and barraged frenzies of adroitly organic substances that pummel with hammering deadliness. Battering drummer Uinona Raider (Alessandro Milone) pounds his set with dominating finesse, cymbal smashing with rampaging stampedes of primitively malicious savagery.

Il Maestro Myagi Di Pino” is an interlude between 2 people arguing with each other, until “L’Opelatole Ecologico” frolicks with hasty stability. Exhibiting thumpy jumpiness, juxtaposed with unprecedented jams that would make STEEL PANTHER look like a newborn pussy cat. “Images And Swords” is a another brief sketch; in which is MANOWAR’s opening riff of “Warriors Of The World”, as 2 guys accuse between them and DREAM THEATER - being nothing like the latter, and I quote: “make their sophisticated music by scratching a MANOWAR CD with a screwdriver, drawing a large cock…and then its done!” Pretty hilarious. Finally entering “In The Sky”; embellishing on extremely mid-tempo soundscapes, layered with a texture of excessively headbanging tones that will make you want to crack a beer open and raise your hands into the air!

…And Then I Noticed That She Was A Gargoyle” establishes more songwriting memorability, complete with barbaric verses and potent parodies of Mike Oldfield’s “Moonlight Shadow” - sneakily tucked in that makes for fun Easter Egg discoveries. “Tooth Fairy” rapidly swifts with nimbly meaty trailblazing absurdity, cohesively and distinctively construct distinguished silliness – embodied with extravagnet efficaciousness and a borderline foundation of groovy chaos, chugging gallops of dimensional warfare, a thorough pisstake of the business practice that we all dread. “Vegan Velocitaptor” is a humorous nod to the vegan population, you know - the people who despise meat. Starting off with a sarcastic introduction (as always) with the alphabet, and then crazily dancing mechanics with snipets of Ryu and Ken (from the iconic Street Fighter II video game) doing their signature moves - the Hadouken & Shryuken. Another great surprise that had me laughing greatly, despite the criticism NANOWAR OF STEEL inevitably get – they for sure know how to include puns of steel, that may rub some Metalheads in the wrong way, yet if you know how to take a joke…this is an excellent band to get into.

Another Drill In The Wall” (if you did not notice; the pun is directed to PINK FLOYD’s classic: “Another Brick In The Wall), which again - adds another interlude, with tools being bashed together in a hilariously rhythmic way…until the epic “Ironmonger (The Copier Of The Seven Keys)” breaks through; supplying more incredible nonsense that still has a pleasing factor to it, integrating conceptual elements in which implement goofy and wacky salubriousness to it. “Bum Voyage” is another silly interlude, as it mocks with more sexual innuendos – as well as NANOWAR OF STEEL’s embellishment on providing the “ha ha has” and jokes that no man has spoken of before. And then the Hard Rock punchiness of “Uranus” unleashes with an ambiguous chorus section, and a bunch of remarkable surprises that will ultimately please you.

The Crown And The Onion Ring” just makes me chuckle; as it is another pun that is an obvious stab to MANOWAR’s “The Crown And The Ring”, another short interlude - being the last…until the crazily fun “The Quest For Carrefour” kicks in. Overall concluding “Stairway To Valhalla” with the finale track: “Hail To Leichtenstein” which includes “Hail To England”’s iconic lyrics: “hail, hail, HAIL!!”; I discovered a fascinating listen, and while this may trigger the hardcore elitists who typically can not handle a joke – the people who can will jam to a incandescence of idiocy of great proportions. Bottom line; this is a long review, but I had a helluva lot fun with this one - NANOWAR OF STEEL certainly outdone themselves here, and I have yet opened my mind to another slab of impressive music.

Songwriting: 8
Memorability: 8
Originality: 9
Production: 9

4 Star Rating

1. Declination
2. Barbie, MILF Princess of the Twilight
3. The Call of Cthulhu
4. Heavy Metal Kibbles
5. Il Maestro Myagi Di Pino
6. L’Opelatole Ecologico
7. Images and Swords
8. In the Sky
9. …And Then I Noticed That She was a Gargoyle
10. Tooth Fairy
11. Vegan Velociraptor
12. Another Drill In The Wall
13. Ironmonger (The Copier of the Seven Keys)
14. Bum Voyage
15. Uranus
16. The Crown and the Onion Ring
17. The Quest for Carrefour
18. Hail to Liechtenstein
Mohammed Abdul (Valerio Storch) - Guitar/Vocals
Potowotominimrak (Carlo A. Fiaschi) - Vocals
Mr. Baffo (Raffaello Venditti) - Vocals
Gatto Panceri 666 (Edoardo Carlesi) - Bass
Uinona Raider (Alessandro Milone) - Drums
Record Label: Independent


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