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Sofisticator - Camping The Vein

Camping The Vein
by Eric "Carnegie" Hall at 20 July 2012, 3:54 AM

Oh boy, here we go. Let’s give Carnegie the tongue-in-cheek, parody Thrash Metal band, SOFISTICATOR. He’ll like that. It’s got songs titled “Burger Hell”, “Total Flatulence War”, and they even comically misspelled their own name! How could he possibly not like that? Then again, he may just not like it for some petty bullshit reason like he “didn’t like the drummers haircut”.

Having finished my metaphysical opening concerning how I imagine my boss sees me, let me state right off that this is pretty good. SOFISTICATOR has found a good niche in the Thrash arena. It’s actually fairly refreshing to listen to a band that doesn’t just sing about Satan or how much the world sucks and everyone is doomed. No, I never laughed at the lyrics or fell off my chair in stitches at the lyrical content, but I don’t think that’s the point here.

This band is trying to poke fun at the very people they are marketing towards. I say “go for it”. Metalheads can be agonizingly serious when it comes to metal music, and they could go for some humble pie now and then. Honestly, only poseurs actually talk about how “Metal” they are. What a bunch of shit. Do these ‘tards really think that Tony Iommi, Bruce Dickinson, and Rob Halford all get together and talk about how “Metal” they are? It’s doubtful. Although Tony Iommi did slice off the tops of his fingers with a machine press, that’s pretty Metal, bro. I should probably follow up that last sentence with this one explaining it before someone thinks I really use the term “bro”. I don’t.

Getting back on track, what you have is a good, decent, competent thrash release. No, it’s not sliding up its own ass with songs about blood and dying blood and raining blood and war blood and evil blood. Good for them. Metal music is awesome, but you don’t need to be some brooding dickhead who wears the same fucking SLAYER shirt everyday and only drinks Old Style (fuck those types). So I guess I threw a curveball here, as my opening paragraph seemed to imply I was going to not like it. Well, too bad.

3 Star Rating

1. Blasphemous Arrival
2. Camping the Vein
3. Burger Hell
4. Total Flatulence War (Beans Attack)
5. Burn the Steaks on the Fire
6. Ivo (The Woodman)
7. Holidays in Hell
8. I wa’ sborr’ (to Rock ‘n’ Roll)
9. Sofisticator
10. Thrash & Clean
Popi– Guitar
Baron Roccio– Guitar
Disossator– Vocals
Atomik Bahnhof– Bass
The Ripper- Drums
Record Label: EBM Records


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Edited 01 December 2022

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