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The Grotesquery - The Facts and Terrifying Testament of Mason Hamilton: Tsathoggua Tales

The Grotesquery
The Facts and Terrifying Testament of Mason Hamilton: Tsathoggua Tales
by Eric "Carnegie" Hall at 29 May 2012, 1:41 AM

They say there is elegance and beauty in simplicity. They say a lot of things, though. They also say never shit where you eat. They also control the media. Whoever “they” is, they are certainly busy controlling everything and inventing new witticisms for us to put on decorative plates to look deep and profound. Whatever the fuck.

I bring up the thing about simplicity and elegance because this album’s title obviously doesn’t understand or give a shit about this idea. That would explain why THE GROTESQUERY chose to name their second album “The Facts and Terrifying Testament of Mason Hamilton: Tsathoggua Tales”. It’s a mouthful of a title, alright. I would like to suggest an alternate title, I spent a lot of time think about it, so please do let me know what you think. Its “The Facts and Incredibly Boring Tale of Complete and Total Bullshit Nothing With Extra Testimonies of Mushroom People and Sailing Turd Monsters: Vol. I: The Gobbledegook Tales”.

In short, I really can’t deride this thing enough. I tried to get into it, but it has this retarded notion that writing an entire album following a shittily-wrote horror story of some guy automatically inscribes your rather bland musical skill with ultra-amazing capabilities. Well, it doesn’t. Especially not with songs about Mushroom People and Black God NKai or whatever the fucking hell this piece of shit is about. It’s just a bad idea to write a concept album with Death Metal, especially considering how difficult it is to even understand the vocals half of the time. See, in a story, it’s generally vital to know what’s going on – you can’t do that when the story is being told by a guttural bridge troll with massive tooth decay and a malignant throat tumour.

So the story sucks. But that’s because I didn’t know what it was about. So I’ve based my opinion of this album entirely off of whatever musical ability they have. Which is to speak, not much at all. Yeah, the guitar riffage is your expected distorted and swift fare, the drumming is quick and on a dime. But it’s difficult to discern this thing from all the other, better Death Metal albums I’ve given a listen to – it’s like some terrible child’s drawing that you have to pretend to like and be impressed by and love just to spare the child the pain of knowing their artwork sucks at such an astonishing rate it insults the very ideaof crayon works. So I’ll say THE GROTESQUERY is really an amazing album that no Metalhead should miss.

Is the kid gone? Yes? Good. This album sucks – without the pleasant feeling of swallowing it afterward. 

2 Star Rating

1. The Madness (of Mason Hamilton)
2. A Terrifying Testament
3. Arrival: Tomb of Toads
4. Beware They Who Burrow Death
5. Gaze of Ghatanathoa (I Had a Nightmare)
6. Amongst Black Slime and Mushroom People
7. The Cthulhu Prophecy
8. Tsathoggua The Black God of NKai
9. Entrapped Within Atlach-Nachas Web
10. Psychopompos Lamentations For a Dying World
11. Dreams of Terrors in Darkness & Horrors Out of Shadows
Herr R. Johansson– Guitars
Master K. Lee– Vocals
Grand Master J. Berglund– Bass
Notorious B. Helgetun - Drums
Record Label: Cyclone Empire


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Edited 01 December 2022

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